


but this time, i mean it // i'll let you know just how much you mean to me

by locrianrose



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Innuendo, Slice of Life, Sparring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/locrianrose/pseuds/locrianrose
Summary: Three times Lon'qu touched Robin. Set between A and S support.
Relationships: Lon'qu/My Unit | Reflet | Robin
Kudos: 9





	but this time, i mean it // i'll let you know just how much you mean to me

“I don’t know why you keep insisting that I do this.” Robin said, gently patting her pocket to reassure herself that her figs were still safely tucked away. Lon’qu might be far superior with the sword, but she had her secret weapon. 

“Until you can defend yourself adequately against an enemy with a sword, you must.”

“I mean—” Robin gestured towards her tome. “—I think I’m fine. Magic just works better.”

“There are dangers to dark magic.”

“There are dangers to swords. Axes. I had Lissa working with a fire tome to see if she’d take to it and she very nearly set fire to the stables.”

Lon’qu’s frown deepened. 

“Defend yourself.”

“Fine.” Robin sighed as she braced herself. “I’m not horrible with a sword, you know.”

Lon’qu lunged, and Robin was rapidly reminded that while she wasn’t an amateur with a sword, Lon’qu was far more skilled. She’d initially thought that once he was comfortable around her, they’d stop training, but he’d seemed to have taken his new degree of comfort around her personally. He told Frederick how she’d slacked in her sword training, and much to her growing horror, they’d both redoubled their efforts to train her. 

She was exhausted. She barely had enough time to slip snacks from the kitchens to eat with Gaius and Stahl. All of her time for tea with Sumia had slipped away, and she hadn’t had a one on one conversation with Tharja in weeks (she had chased her out of her rooms thrice though, and one particularly exhausted night, she’d chosen to let Tharja stay rather than force her to leave, and she’d woken early to Tharja’s pointed stare and had vowed not to do so again). 

This had to end, and it seemed that the only way to do so was to prove that she was competent enough for her harsh taskmasters, and if a few figs were thrown in the process, well, no one else needed to know. 

Robin parried Lon’qu’s first attack half heartedly, the force of his training sword sliding against hers forcing her to take a half step back, sending an unfortunate pang through her arm as she blocked it. 

Lon’qu’s style was smooth and powerful, his blade moving swiftly with enough force to knock her back when she managed to block his hits. When she didn’t, his blade would tap her padded training armor, reminding her that in a battle, things would be far more painful and rife with consequences. 

If she wasn’t so damned tired, this might be easier, but there were always too many things to do in a day, and today was no exception. Why Lon’qu insisted on training her, she wasn’t sure. The attention was flattering, but for a man who always seemed to operate on an emotional spectrum that had a high of mildly bemused and a general average of indifferent, she wasn’t sure why. True, she’d seen him show more emotion than that, but most of her attempts to provoke more out of him had been largely unsuccessful. 

The largest reaction she’d ever managed to get had been unintentional on her part and had happened prior to their training sessions, when a lance-wielding risen had gotten dangerously close to something important inside her with the point of his lance. She’d been fine, and for all of Maribelle’s scolding, she’d made it out in the long term with little more than a new scar, but apparently holding her innards in while Maribelle had frantically worked to keep her alive hadn’t been his idea of a good time. He’d shown emotion then, and while Robin hadn’t been in much of a shape to remember what happened, she’d could recall the horror in his eyes as he’d done what he could to keep her alive.

That was likely why he cared so much about training her now. He’d gotten attached from her pestering, and now her occasional mishaps were personal. She didn’t entirely mind the idea that he cared about her, but it was unexpected.

Lon’qu was a good looking man. Robin wasn’t blind. She’d stolen at least her fair share of glances at his arms, at the way he moved in battle, and at least one of the times he’d scolded her for poking at him in training had been motivated by a personal curiosity to find out if he was as solid as he looked. 

He had been, but now, as he advanced on her, Robin was much less keen on looking at his biceps and much more keen on the idea of a long nap under a shady tree that she knew couldn’t come till she’d done her other duties, and that by then, a nap under a shady tree would be a cold nap out in the lonely night and that if she took it, Tharja would be there when she’d inevitably wake in the night from a nightmare, looming inches from her face, or worse, Frederick would find her there and scold her. 

Lon’qu tapped his sword on her stomach as she stumbled back.

“You’re not paying attention.” 

“Well, I mean, I can pay more attention, but I didn’t think that you liked my special tactics.”

“Throwing fruit—”

Robin snagged a fig from her pocket, tossing it his way. 

Lon’qu was ready today, deflecting it with his sword. 

“—is not a valid battle strategy.” 

“I think it is.” Robin said again. “But I’ll try to do better. Come at me again.” 

She squared her feet, genuinely intending to do her best. Lon’qu looked irritated, but she had no intention of chasing him off now.She’d humor him lest he recoil even farther away than he’d first started. 

Lon’qu leapt towards her again, and Robin blocked his first swing, the weight of his attack sending a shock through her hand as she sidestepped, trying to get through his guard. Lon’qu blocked again as she struck, and Robin threw herself into their fight, lashing out again and again as she struggled to land a hit, able to block his more powerful strikes but unable to land anything, each blocked hit resonating through her arms. 

Thinking quickly, Robin kicked out at Lon’qu the next time he came close enough for her to reach, aiming to knock his feet out from under him. 

Her foot connected solidly with his leg, sending Lon’qu stumbling back. Robin let out a cry of victory as she surged forwards, preparing to perform her fatal attack only to feel her back leg cramp viciously. Robin staggered to the side as Lon’qu found his footing, forcing herself to stay on her feet, tensing her leg as she did. 

“What was that?” He asked, pausing.

“Tactics.” Robin said. “You didn’t expect me to kick you.”

Lon’qu frowned as Robin straightened, ignoring her leg. She wouldn’t be able to have the luxury of doing something about that kind of pain in battle, so she’d practice like she’d fight. He didn’t attack as she found her footing, but when she lunged again, he met her attack with his own blade, shoving back. 

The damnable cramp in her leg twinged, and Robin found herself tumbling back as her own spiteful limb turned traitor and refused to hold her up. Even as she fell, she felt Lon’qu snag her arm, tugging her back up at his side. 

Robin was grateful that she’d already managed to rid him of most of his qualms about touching her through her past actions as he hauled her back up to her feet, pulling her to his side with minimal hesitation.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning down at her. 

“Just a cramp.” She said. “I just need to sit for a minute.” 

Lon’qu helped her as she limped to the edge of the training area, supporting her as she slowly settled down on a bench, wincing as she stretched her leg. 

“Did you warm up?” He asked. 

“I came right from going over the supply list for next week with Frederick. I didn’t have time.” 

“Why would that stop you?”

“I train with you for an hour during lunch. After this, I meet with Chrom and report on what the Shepherds we’ve sent out to deal with risen have seen. I’m going out next week, so I need to be ready. After that, I’m working more with Lissa on the axe, and I have to manage Vaike and make sure he doesn’t say anything vulgar around her or she’ll hide frogs in his bed and I’ll have to deal with that—and Sully’s horse seems to have developed a personal vendetta against me ever since I started trying to make sure Vaike wasn’t menacing the serving maids and I don’t know why.” 

Robin stripped off her boot, rolling up the loose leg of her pants before starting to rub the spot where it hurt, wincing. 

“After that, it’s back to Chrom and a council meeting. He insists I sit in. If I’m lucky after, I’ll sip out and eat with the Shepherds, but if I’m too late Stahl will save me something and I’ll eat that while I finish any paperwork left over at the end of the day. I’ve been working more with Donnel when I have time, and he’s been taking to nearly any weapon I’ve let him try, but now I’ve got to plan that too.”

Lon’qu nodded, kneeling beside the bench before nudging her hands away from her leg. 

“You should rub it like this.” He pressed carefully down on the muscle.

Robin froze, watching him carefully as he expertly moved his hand, wincing as he rubbed the muscle. 

“What?” He looked at her, then back down at his hands, freezing. 

Robin would have sworn that Lon’qu blushed as he looked back down before continuing, slower than before. 

“Thank you.” Robin said. After a moment as the pain began to subside, and she exhaled, stretching her leg. 

“You need to warm up first or you’ll get hurt.” Lon’qu moved his hands away. “You’re not going to be a worthy opponent to an enemy if you don’t take care of yourself.”

“Right.” Robin nodded. “I’ll try next time.”

“I want to come next week. Someone needs to keep an eye on you if you’re not going to take care of yourself.”

Robin felt her own cheeks flush, flipping her hood up. 

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Good.” Lon’qu nodded, ducking his head. 

Robin slipped a fig out of her pocket, offering it to Lon’qu. He shook his head, and she split it open. 

“I’d better stock up if you’re going to be with us.” She said. “I’m not sure Frederick will approve my request for more as a necessity, so I might have to shift to another fruit. How do you feel about apples? Pears?”

“I don’t think that you should spend unnecessary resources on me. That seems excessive.”

“Fair enough.” Robin shrugged, bending her knee experimentally. “Then I’ll just get what I can for meals. Be ready for anything.” 

“I’ll try.” Lon’qu replied drily. 

* * *

“You said to be ready for anything.” Lon’qu muttered to Robin as they marched. “So is this your fault?”

Robin turned to glare at him from under her dripping hood. 

“I’ll shove you in the river.” She said with a glare. “Some part of you might still be dry.”

Her feet were soaked, and while she’d thought to requisition oiled cloaks, in the time it’d taken to extract them from their wagon, the rain had more than soaked through what they had, and she knew camp would be miserable tonight. Thanks to the carefully wrapped tomes in the wagon, they’d be able to start a fire, but getting anything dry would be miserable, and setting up tents would be difficult unless the rain stopped. 

“Could you?” Came his dispassionate response. 

“I’m going to sit on you in the mud.” Robin said under her breath. “I’m going to tackle you when you least expect it, and then I’m going to—” She exhaled, then straightened up. “I could take you.”

“Without tricks?”

“I make no promises.” Robin replied. 

“I’d—er— enjoy seeing you try.” Lon’qu said, voice suddenly stuttering. 

Robin glanced over at Lon’qu, noting that yet again, he was blushing. She ran through what she’d said in her mind and then— ah. She’d said that. Well, fair enough. If he was blushing and hadn’t run yet, she’d might as well commit. 

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought of it before. 

“I mean, I’d let you pin me down.” She paused. “Or I’d pin you down, depending on how it went. Either would work.”

Lon’qu coughed. 

“Completely in the context of sparring.” Robin said. “You could call it practice— make it easier to touch women.”

“What if it wasn’t practice?” Lon’qu asked.

“I don’t...think I’d mind.” Robin said. “If you wouldn’t mind trying with someone who doesn’t remember their past. I— don’t know what I might have forgotten.” She hesitated, rubbing at the back of her glove. 

“I’ll… think about it.” Lon’qu said, clearing his throat. “I wouldn’t do that sort of thing casually.”

“I don’t know what I was like before.” Robin mused. “But I think now— I don’t think I’d be able to let go of someone I cared about if I went that far.”

Lon’qu didn’t interject, and Robin continued. 

“It’s— hard to not remember. I wouldn’t want to risk losing someone.” 

She wasn’t keen on discussing this with him— or anyone. It showed a weakness that she didn’t want to share, and if she opened the door to what she didn’t remember, she’d be forced to admit the things she had remembered when she’d woke— the dream that still haunted her— why she’d known Chrom when this had all started, and the man who’d known her the night they’d tried to kill Emmeryn and how she’d seen him there in the dream and what he had said. 

Robin shook her head, sending a shower of drops flying. 

“That doesn’t matter now.” She said rapidly, aware that she’d spoken a little too quickly. “I should make sure everyone’s doing well.”

A hesitant hand on her shoulder slowed her as she took a step away. 

“You could talk about it.” He said, pointedly looking somewhere to the side of her head as he spoke. “If you needed someone to listen.”

To talk to someone about that would be dangerous. From what Frederick had warned her about the mark on her hand, she knew that something in her past had to do with the Grimleal. The man from her dream had been part of the group that tried to kill Emmeryn— undoubtedly more of the same. She’d asked Gaius what questions she could about those who hired him, but he hadn’t known much.

“I don’t know if I could.” She finally responded, noting Stahl trekking up behind them. “But if I need to— I’ll try.” 

“That’s— fair.” Lon’qu said, dipping his head as he dropped his hand. “I’ll let you go.”

“Thank you.” Robin said, looking at him quickly. “Thank you.”

* * *

“When I said you could talk to me if you needed, I—uh— didn’t imagine this.”

“I told you. I made sure no one saw me.” Robin grumbled from where she sat, knees pulled up against her chest as she watched Lon’qu gingerly toss the apple back to her across the tent.

Lon’qu sat up, bedroll sliding down around him as he did.

“How long have you been there?” Lon’qu plucked another apple from behind him, sitting up and pulling the blankets inside his bedroll over himself protectively.

“Not long.” Robin replied, sniffing. “I finished my watch and couldn’t sleep.”

“And you thought you’d come here.”

“You offered.” Robin said. “I thought about what you said, and I just— I wanted to talk to someone.”

“Stay over there.” Lon’qu said.

“Fair.” Robin said, tightening the blanket she’d wrapped around herself in place of the dripping coat she’d abandoned to hang overnight. The rain had stopped as they were setting up camp, but they’d been hard pressed to find spots dry enough to camp. Tharja and Miriel had done what they could to stabilize the ground enough to camp, but it had been difficult to find enough spots, with Donnel and Gaius choosing to sleep in the wagon with their supplies instead of risking the ground.

“What did you need to talk about.” Lon’qu didn’t meet her eyes as he spoke.

“I remember one thing.” Robin said.

“What?” Lon’qu looked up, meeting her eyes briefly before looking down.

“I remembered something before Chrom found me.” Robin repeated. “The only thing I could remember when I woke up there.”

Lon’qu didn’t speak, still pointedly looking down, so Robin continued.

“It felt like a dream, almost.” Robin said. “And it must have been, because it’s not something that ever happened. I knew Chrom when he woke me up. I saw him— with me— fighting an enemy. We fought him and won, and then I—” She frowned. “—The man we fought hit me with some magic I didn’t understand. There was more that happened in the dream, but—” Robin broke off. “—I can’t talk about it. Not yet. I thought it could be a fluke at first, but then— Do you remember when the assassins came for Emmeryn?” Robin asked.

Lon’qu dipped his head.

“The man who led them— He was the man we fought in my dream, and he knew me.” Robin stared into space, remembering the words from the enemy they’d fought that day. “I asked Gaius if he knew who he was, but he said that they’d just hired him and he didn’t know anything else. I’ve been searching, and I’ve pieced together fragments, but nothing’s added up completely yet.” Robin could feel herself speaking faster, but stopping now that she’d started was unthinkable.

“What I’ve been thinking about is worrying.” Robin said. “I know— My mark—” She tugged off her glove, revealing it to Lon’qu. “—I saw it when we fought in Plegia. The symbol there, on the Grimleal. Frederick warned me that it was theirs, and I know he didn’t trust me because of it— and my coat— when they found me— but I don’t remember anything before but the dream.”

Her thought process was spilling out to Lon’qu now as he sat, eyebrows raised as he listened to her ramblings.

“There was another dream, after the man died. I saw him and— someone else, and _they_ spoke about Grima— I know from Tharja— what she told me about him— and I know that something is happening in Plegia, and I doubt that we’ve had the last of our troubles from them.” Robin said. “I just don’t know where I fit into it— if I was one of them or—”

“You can’t know.” Lon’qu spoke quietly. “N-not for sure.”

Robin shrugged, rubbing at the mark.

“Maybe I can’t. But I have to be prepared. “

“Can I—” Lon’qu edged closer, hesitating as he moved his hand over hers.

“Yes. I don’t know what _exactly_ it means,” Robin said, “but I can speculate.”

Lon’qu gingerly touched her hand, tracing the mark.

“Could be nothing.” He finally said, pulling his hand back.

“Or it could be something awful.” Robin countered. “I think Frederick thinks I must have fled Plegia for whatever reason before— I still don’t know if he believes that I don’t remember, but he seems accepting enough either way now. I suppose I could have been a captive, for whatever reason, and this is— some sort of indicator of that— but that wouldn’t explain why I can’t remember or the dream.

“You didn’t even flinch that time.” Robin said after a short pause as she processed his actions, her words said. “You touched my hand.”

Lon’qu grumbled something under his breath, scooting back to sit on his bedroll.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you’re getting attached.” Robin said, driving the topic away from her confession. “First earlier in the rain, now this.”

“Robin,” Lon’qu began, Robin freezing at the pained note in his voice. “I w-want you to be careful.”

“I—” Robin broke off, and Lon’qu moved forwards again, reaching to snag her hand in his, squeezing it tightly.

“Just— be careful.” He met her eyes “W-whoever you were before— you’re here now.”

Robin exhaled heavily, shivering in the cold of the night.

Robin hesitated, then squeezed his hand in return. “I’ll do what I can. There’s too much to do to bother being careful all the time, but if you insist.”

“When you were— injured,” Lon’qu began haltingly, “I was unprepared for how strongly I would feel about— you.”

Robin thought back to day on the battlefield when she’d fallen and Lon’qu had been forced to try to keep her alive long enough for Maribelle to reach them. The memories were as hazy as ever.

The week or so after, he’d been distant, avoiding her at every turn in her injured state until Frederick had told her that she’d be training more until he was sure that she’d be able to defend herself properly. He’d told her that once she was well, Lon’qu would be working with her as well.

At the time, Robin had wondered if it was some kind of revenge. Now though, Robin saw that it had likely been something else entirely.

“You wanted to train so you could be sure I’d be safe.” Robin said slowly. “Because you—”

Robin studied Lon’qu for a moment, then looked down at his tight grip on her hand.

“I thought you might care that way.” Robin finally said.

“There are things that I— want to do.” Lon’qu said, voice low. “But I— I can’t do it—yet.”

“I can wait.” Robin replied, voice quiet. “I’ll be here.”

“And you’ll be careful?” Lon’qu asked again.

“I will.” Robin nodded. “…As much as I can.”

Lon’qu nodded back. “Just— know that I— care about you. Whoever you were before.”

“And if I can help you— genuinely— please let me know.” Robin said. “I know that I do things my way because it works, but if there’s something more I can do, tell me.”

“For now—” Lon’qu hesitated. “— just stay with us.”

“I can do that.” Robin said. “I am worried about what life I had before, but this here—this is good, and I want to keep it.”

Lon’qu’s grip tightened on her hand again for a moment, then he released it.

“Good. I don’t think— I don’t think that I could lose you.”

**Author's Note:**

> title from demolition lovers by my chemical romance 
> 
> this was going to be part of a much longer thing but ended up tying up nicely into its own story, so it's getting posted as is, and the other bits will be polished up into their own things with time. it's been a bit of a challenge writing lon'qu, but i'm getting a feel for it.


End file.
